MacBook Kombat!

MacBook Kombat!

Sup? It’s been awhile. I wish I could say that’s because I’ve been busy doing awesome things, but the truth is, I’ve mostly been wrapped up in my day job and surgery (eep). I’m on the mend, though, and figured I’d show you guys some of the stuff that’s been getting me through.

This guy spent nine months corresponding with Nigerian scammers. The results are pee-your-pants hilarious.

Rachida Dati, former French minister, talks about femininity and credibility.

Ever wish America had a high speed rail system?

Ever wanted to know how to moonwalk?

My good friend, Lauren Gordon, wrote about body issues and teaching our daughters to love themselves. If every mother was even half as awesome as Lauren is, the world would be a much better place for everyone.

Speaking of women’s bodies, it’s now legal for men and women to go topless in New York! Well done, you guys!

“This is Water” by David Foster Wallace. The amazing speech that will change the way you think about the world and the other people in it.

Jack Kerouac
From a Kerouac fan page on Facebook

Found here

Image found here.

Happy (Early) Valentine’s Day!

Or something. Do you guys celebrate? I didn’t used to, but I guess I’m getting sappy in my old age. This year, I’m having dinner with a friend, and then hanging out at his place for drinks. Believe it or not, this is a step forward for me. I’m usually pretty “Bah Humbug” about the whole thing.

Have you ever thought about The Addams Family as a feminist film? The Soapboxing Geek did, and the results are not only fascinating, they’re hilarious.

OKCupid people are weird, and “Nice Guys of OKCupid” showcases the weirdest of them. A lot of the entries made me laugh, but even more of them pissed me off because they reminded me how many jerks there are who think that just because a woman exists, she’s obligated to let him stick his dick in her.

Prom pictures are usually hilarious, but some of these are just downright uncomfortable. In a good way.

I think everyone on the planet has read this by now, but just in case, here are 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person. It’s the stuff you don’t want to hear, but that you probably need to.

I went to the beach last week. I got in my car with the intention of going to the market, but I just couldn’t stand the idea of running errands and going back home. Before I knew it, I was parked outside of my friend’s apartment, ringing him and saying, “Come downstairs. We’re going on an adventure.” We drove out to Malibu where it was 70F and sunny, and we had clam chowder and strawberry lemonade at Gladstone’s. We watched the fog line on the horizon and decided the sky had been split apart where it met the water, then wandered the beach at sunset.

Did you guys know Dominic Monaghan has a new show? It’s called Wild Things, and so far, it’s all about Dominic traveling the world, being adorable, and playing with awesome animals.

Jim Moriarty didn’t invent Rich Brook. Rich Brook invented Jim Moriarty.

I’ve been kicking around a few theories, re: BBC Sherlock, and I’ve been posting them over on Tumblr. I did some research and discovered that other people have also come to some of the same conclusions, so we can’t possibly all be wrong, right? Anyway, I’ve posted about IOU, the body we see hit the sidewalk, and Moriarty’s true identity.

I’m seriously convinced that Battlefield 3 is built on a Nightmare Engine. I’ve never seen another game produce so many terrifying bugs. Check out these glitches, then watch the equally horrifying “real life” version at the end.

And finally, this:

“Delicious Doomsday” from Romantically Apocalyptic

Think you’re safe? You’re right. But just for the sake of argument, here’s a tiny list of ways the world could have ended today:
The Super FluGiant AsteroidsNuclear WarSupervolcano

Result of a weapon of mass destruction? Nope.

Are you reading Romantically Apocalyptic yet? It’s easily one of my favorite web comics of all time. (And it’s also where the first image in this post came from.)

Cool Material put together a list of the 10 best vehicles to survive the apocalypse. I want every single one of them, but especially the Conquest Knight XV. Hnnnngh.

Don’t worry if you’re not stocked up on tactical gear for the apocalypse. Take your cue from Bread Helmet Man and get creative.

One of my favorite atomic bomb compilations ever! It’s even better if you turn the sound down and listen to “Nitrogen” by Juno Reactor while you watch it.

Unfortunately, if the apocalypse involves snow, I’m fucked…

Nishizono: Alas, I cannot snowboard
Nishizono: You know the expression, “I have two left feet”?
Nishizono: I’ve got like seven of them
Nishizono: And they’re all broken at the ankle

In the mood for some apocalyptic films? These are my favorites:

Damnation Alley
The world is devastated by a nuclear holocaust, causing the Earth to tilt on its axis and bringing vast meteorological chaos. As the weather stabilizes, mutated insects start to emerge, preying on the survivors. The surviving crew at a U.S. Air Force bomb shelter in the Mojave Desert picks up radio signals coming from Albany. The commander, Major Eugene Denton (George Peppard, The A-Team), unveils two armored vehicles he has constructed and announces a plan to cross Damnation Alley, the hundred-mile-wide strip between areas of radiation hazard, to join the survivors.

Doctor Strangelove
Stanley Kubrick’s cold war classic is the ultimate satire of the nuclear age. Dr. Strangelove is a perfect spoof of political and military insanity, beginning when General Jack D. Ripper (Sterling Hayden), a maniacal warrior obsessed with “the purity of precious bodily fluids,” mounts his singular campaign against Communism by ordering a squadron of B-52 bombers to attack the Soviet Union. The Soviets counter the threat with a so-called “Doomsday Device,” and the world hangs in the balance while the U.S. president (Peter Sellers) engages in hilarious hot-line negotiations with his Soviet counterpart.

12 Monkeys
Cole (Bruce Willis) is sent back in time to save the human race from a deadly virus that has forced mankind into dank underground communities in the future. Along his travels, he encounters a psychiatrist (Madeleine Stowe) and a mental patient, brilliantly portrayed by Brad Pitt, who may hold the key to the mysterious rogue group, the Army of the 12 Monkeys, thought to be responsible for unleashing the killer disease. Believing he can obtain a pure virus sample in order to find a cure in the future, he is met with one riddle after another that puts him in a race with time.

❤ Persephone says, “Happy Apocalypse!” ❤

Happy Friday, ya’ll. It’s been a hell of a week. If anyone wants to come kidnap me and take me on a (non-creepy) vacation to somewhere quiet and completely unplugged, please be my guest. (Also, I’m full of shit; it can totally be creepy if you want.)

Jude Law on his relationship with Robert Downey Jr:

Interviewer: Tell us about your relationship with Robert Downey Jr.
Jude Law: Oh, I love him.
Interviewer: You have a bit of a bromance going on there.
Jude Law: What is this new term everybody’s using? That’s a horrible term. What about just a ‘romance’?
Interviewer: No, that’s not the same, ‘cos then you’d have to star in a romantic comedy together or something.
Jude Law: We just have! Have you not seen it?

I start craving rain around this time of year. The picture above was actually taken during a freak summer storm here in L.A., but we usually don’t get proper rain until the end of December.

♠ Are you participating in the Day Zero Project? I set some pretty ridiculous goals for myself last time around (learning how to fly a helicopter), but I still managed to get a 10% completion rate.

♠ Speaking of bizarre lists, are you guys signed up for the Greatest International Scavenger Hunt the World Has Ever Seen? It’s hosted by Misha Collins of Supernatural infamy, and last year was ridiculous. Go watch the video to see some of the shit we got up to.

This guy took 48 different kinds of drugs, then drew a self-portrait after each one. He’s like some kind of suicidal, visual arts version of Hunter S. Thompson.

Honey Pie from California is a place. on Vimeo.

Honey Pie is a super short documentary on the making of Real Dolls, specifically the main sculptor and how he got into doing it. NSFW. Not even a little.

APRICOT — A Short Film by Ben Briand from Moonwalk Films on Vimeo.

Apricot is one of my favorite short films of all time, and I couldn’t even begin to tell you why.

Behold the power of science, bitches! 1500 ping-pong balls vs liquid nitrogen. FIGHT!

I’m totally obsessed with Downton Abbey. It took me awhile to actually start watching it, but I was hooked from the first episode. It helps that Thomas (Rob James-Collier) is so devilishly hot.

I’m also obsessed with Carlos Nunez‘s photography. He really works the whole angel/whore vibe, and his photos manage to be sexy without being cookie-cutter pornographic.

I went to Comikaze last weekend. It was my first time there, and although there’s definitely room for improvement (I don’t think they anticipated the number of people who showed up), I had a good time. L.A. cosplayers set the bar pretty damn high.

Here are some articles to waste your time with:

UnWinona shared a story on Tumblr about being harassed by men on public transport.

♠ What do you think of this dad who wears a dress in support of his skirt-loving son?

A river ran red in China, and no one is sure why.

♠ If you’re not already reading Frodo Booth every Friday, then you should jump on that. They basically round up all the funniest pictures from Reddit each week and curate them in one long, hilarious post. Seriously the highlight of my Friday lunch break.

♠ A multimillionaire named Bruce McMahon allegedly married his own daughter. The Village Voice reported on it. Now, he’s trying to haul them into court over it. Super classy!

This made me laugh so hard I felt sick. “Dude, you slapped a fish.” If all of Twilight had been like this, I would have watched it over and over.

This band is pretty neat. I really dig the video.